My fitness regime

My fleet of veterinarians with tractors waiting to be deployed should I need them.

Failte!

I have been training my ponies to ensure their welfare and fitness for the ride, after much consideration I have decided that making my ponies swim from the mainland to Inis Mór every other day. This is how the islands were originally populated with the ponies swimming behind the boats as they were guided with a rope. I think it's a great way to get the ponies fit.

As for myself, I have been sandpapering my arse and thighs daily so as to toughen up the skin for my ride. I have also devised a personal fitness program, I'd rather not divulge all of my secrets here lest those other derby riders steal my ideas. Suffice to say that I have done plenty and it has all been suitably arduous. I have also been walking my dog over the hills for an hour each day when I take a break from the pub. Not only that but I have been conditioning myself to be able to consume up to a liter of Poitín per day I have ALSO been digging the fields at night to build up my arm muscles. The point of all this agony is that I will know what it feels like, and not be unduly stressed, if I encounter my physical limits on the Derby. If I can move those limits back a bit too, that will be a big help.

I have lined up a record six different mounts to ride over the weekend, first my own two Connemara ponies, then three donkeys kindly leant to me by a policeman neighbour in return for my now retired third bicycle, and last but not least a Kerry bog pony! Of course all 6 mounts are highly trained in dressage and show jumping and so I feel that if I ride each one in a school for an hour a day this will ensure I am well prepared for riding 25 feral unbroken ponies over the wilds of Connaught.

I have also been polishing up my Irish phrases for any chance encounters with the exotic locals, more on this later!